Thousands of children go through the stress of divorce every year. At any age, kids may feel sad, angry, or uncertain upon learning that their parents are splitting up. This experience is not healthy for a child’s development and can lead to several issues between the child and his parents. Sometimes, it can also affect his personality and ability to interact with other people.
Dealing with divorce is tough for you and your ex-partner, but it is harder for your child. According to Mt. Nebo Law, divorce cases that include childcare usually end up wrong because of poor communication between the child and parents. Here are four ways to help them go through a situation like this.
Once your child realizes the gravity of a divorce, many thoughts will rattle his or her mind. It is best if you explain the real reason behind your break-up – clarify why it happened, and why you think it is ideal for your family. Make it clear that the divorce is not about them. It is important to reassure that you divorced your spouse and not your relationship with your child.
Listen to what your child has to say about your divorce. Let them talk and express his feeling towards the situation. If they get sad, comfort them and let them know that you love them. If they get angry, do not defend yourself because this will only build up the tension. Allow your child to confide. This will ease the frustration, and give them a sense of empowerment.
Some children think that divorce means losing contact with one of their parents. Assure that this will not happen, and that you will still see them as much as they want. Explain that even if the family unit changes, there will still be a healthy relationship between them, you, and your ex-partner. Affirm this with physical closeness in the form of hugs or a pat on the shoulder.
If you and your child dine out every Saturday, then it is important to keep this ritual even after your divorce. Maintain customs that you enjoy as a family to keep the relationship healthy. Apart from this, establish a new schedule that allows them to see you and your partner alternatively. Keeping a routine means continuing to observe rules, rewards, and discipline in your child. This resists the temptation of spoiling your kid during a divorce, which allows them to grow confident and levelheaded.
During your divorce, you will see many changes in your child that you cannot help avoid. It is normal for your child to adjust while you and your partner separate. Help them go through this phase, and always make them feel that you care.